Monday, June 27, 2005

This is GOOD for you??

Lately I’ve been hearing all about the benefits of drinking a glass of pomegranate juice a day. How it will make you live longer, stay healthy, put hair on your chest…okay…so it is not truly a miracle drink (and I probably really don’t want hair on my chest!). But it is supposed to be really good for you.

So yesterday, while doing my weekly frustration shopping at dumb Awful Albertson’s (remember The Mary Tyler Moore Show; how Phyllis used to call Mary’s friend, Rhoda, dumb Awful Rhoda?… okay, okay…back to our original programming…), I finally remembered to see if they might carry this wonder drink.

Now, I don’t know about your Albertson’s (and trust me…I could do a whole blog entry on mine!), but the dumb, Awful Albertson’s I must frequent is poorly stocked, very expensive, and generally annoying, and so I felt the chances of finding the brew were small. But…voila! They had one brand!

Darling bottles in three sizes: one serving for $3.69. Two servings for $5.48. And the best deal of all: four servings for $9.99! Woo Hoo! $10 bucks for half a week of unbelievable promises. I hemmed and hawed a bit between the one and two serving sizes. I ask myself: what if I hate it? But Self answers back tartly: how can you hate it? You love raw pomegranates! You love pomegranate jelly! So what is not to like about pomegranate juice. Miserly Self speaks up: Go for the one serving size….you need to go to Costco anyway, and they probably have gallons of it at a reasonable price of $5.00 for a life-time supply. Miserly Self wins the battle. A single serving bottle plops into the cart.

Upon arriving home, I eagerly search the bags for the cute little bottle. Rip off the safety seal, and slug back my first taste of improved well-being.


It is DREADFUL! It is HORRIBLE! It is WRETCHED!!!!!!!!! Nothing, absolutely NOTHING that tastes like the liquid in that bottle can possibly be good for you!

So now, I am stuck with a $3.69 bottle of swill cluttering up my fridge. I have toyed with mixing it with some vodka and maybe a bit of 7-up…but man…I really hate to waste two perfectly good beverages in case they fail to mask the horrors of the juice.

But I am game…. Any and all suggestions are welcome! In the meantime, I am sticking to the tried and true and delicious: the other red drink! Cranberry Juice!


Pour it down the drain and count yourself lucky you didn't buy a lifetime supply at Costco for $500.

Ahhhh, John! Can you assure me it won't rot the disposal? Cause HazMat a trip out to check out the sewer system? You don't think I should just chug-a-lug it back...and then maybe have to take a day or two off from work to recuperate from its healing properties? BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Did you already drink it before your post? Is HazMat HMO going to have to trip out to check out your personal plumbing? The John Wayne imitation laughter threw me.

LMAO Brooke! I tend to agree with John - might be best to toss it down the drain and then flush the drain with a LOT of water to minimize the potential damage.

Of course, you could always search the net to find recipes utilizing the dreaded liquid, if Miserly Self can't allow it to go down the drain.

Then again, you could just tell Miserly Self to take a flying leap and dump the rest of the bottle while she's too shocked to respond. ;)

I absolutely LOVE THE JUICE and drink it every other day. That's funny how our taste buds are so different. I can't stand the diet sodas with that artificial sugar. It leaves a horrible taste in my mouth. Tried so many different brands and still have that after taste. One man's trash is another man's treasure.